At the start of every year I purchase a planner. I hem and haw about it for days because without fail halfway through the year I stop using the planner or worse losing it. I'm quite diligent for the first few months and then life gets crazy hectic (even though I have a planner) and I stop writing things down.
I don't make resolutions as that is reserved for my birthday. The planner is the one ritual I have attached to the New Year. I seriously considered not purchasing one due to my inability to maintain the planning process the entire year. I caved and recently purchased a gorgeous one for 2009. I figure I won't lose it because it's so gorgeous and that I will continue to use it because it's so gorgeous.
My logic is flawless. I see no problems here.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
This year is the longest ever
Each morning for the past few days I wake up and can't get over how long this year feels. I'm not expecting things to be dramatically different next year or thinking some sort of miracle will occur the moment we finally switch over to 2009. I don't know what it is exactly...
I was emailing with a dear friend a few days ago and he gave his perspective on this feeling and I rather liked it. He said "Wishing you a great 2009 as 2008 was a good year in preparing you for 2009!"
It's so easy to hold on to the bad things that happened or the things we were hoping for that didn't materialize. It's so easy that we gloss over the things that pleasantly surprised us or that some of the things that didn't materialize turned out to be for our benefit after all.
2008 was a hard year. It wasn't bad - just hard. I'm not expecting 2009 to be easier but given what my friend said maybe it will be because 2008 has in fact prepared me quite well on many fronts.
I have a better perspective on work and life and balancing it all.
I have a clearer vision of what I want my future to look like.
I've opened the door to new possibilities that I had previously kept the door shut very tightly on.
Most importantly, in working through all the trials of 2008, I've come to find that I'm feeling more like myself - not the version of me from just a year ago...but the version of me from many, many years ago.
I shouldn't be so hard on 2008 after all...
I was emailing with a dear friend a few days ago and he gave his perspective on this feeling and I rather liked it. He said "Wishing you a great 2009 as 2008 was a good year in preparing you for 2009!"
It's so easy to hold on to the bad things that happened or the things we were hoping for that didn't materialize. It's so easy that we gloss over the things that pleasantly surprised us or that some of the things that didn't materialize turned out to be for our benefit after all.
2008 was a hard year. It wasn't bad - just hard. I'm not expecting 2009 to be easier but given what my friend said maybe it will be because 2008 has in fact prepared me quite well on many fronts.
I have a better perspective on work and life and balancing it all.
I have a clearer vision of what I want my future to look like.
I've opened the door to new possibilities that I had previously kept the door shut very tightly on.
Most importantly, in working through all the trials of 2008, I've come to find that I'm feeling more like myself - not the version of me from just a year ago...but the version of me from many, many years ago.
I shouldn't be so hard on 2008 after all...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Habits
My uncle once told me that it takes seven days to make or break a habit. I have just about that much time left in my stay-cation. Following are a few habits I am going to make a concerted effort to make and break during this week:
1. In bed by 9:30 pm.
2. Up by 6 am.
3. Go to the gym twice a day. I already go once but have noticed that it takes twice as long for my body to respond to the workouts - curse getting older! So, I figure I should go twice a day.
4. Eat a healthy dinner by 7 pm.
5. Actually open my mail the day I get it instead of letting it sit on the counter for weeks collecting dust and eventually resulting in late payments - bad, I know.
6. Yoga at least twice a week.
7. I seriously need to lay off the caffeine. I've quit my addiction to Starbucks. (Yay!) I've simply replaced it with an addiction to another coffee shop. (Sigh.)
1. In bed by 9:30 pm.
2. Up by 6 am.
3. Go to the gym twice a day. I already go once but have noticed that it takes twice as long for my body to respond to the workouts - curse getting older! So, I figure I should go twice a day.
4. Eat a healthy dinner by 7 pm.
5. Actually open my mail the day I get it instead of letting it sit on the counter for weeks collecting dust and eventually resulting in late payments - bad, I know.
6. Yoga at least twice a week.
7. I seriously need to lay off the caffeine. I've quit my addiction to Starbucks. (Yay!) I've simply replaced it with an addiction to another coffee shop. (Sigh.)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Stay-cation
Today was the first day of my stay-cation. I have this entire week off of work and am not going anywhere. I'm staying in the city, running errands, and checking off things from my to do list that have been on the list for months now. It feels great. At least, it feels better than a few days ago. Honestly, I was pretty terrified at being away from the office for an entire week. That's when I realized how badly I needed to be away from the office. It's unhealthy how attached I am to that place.
I've always said that my work is my life. I truly enjoy what I do so going to the office is not a chore. However, these past few months my work has turned into a job and just that. Nothing more. I've had to put up boundaries and force myself to take time off, hence this week long break, and it doesn't feel right. I'm hoping by the end of the week it will. It has started off quite nicely at least.
I had a brilliant day today. Woke up without an alarm clock at 11:30. Headed over to my favorite coffee shop and enjoyed a cappuccino while people watching. I LOVE people watching. Returned emails, made plans for New Year's Eve, and met up with a friend. I went to the gym, prepared a healthy meal and watched Two Weeks Notice while getting ready for bed. Now I'm here blogging while in bed. It has been an ideal day and how I hope to eventually spend every day - being financially stable of course. By the end of the break I will be fully rested and relaxed and have adopted a healthy attitude towards work. This is my goal.
This sounds seriously cheesie but as I was brushing my teeth infront of the bathroom mirror and listening to Two Weeks Notice playing in the background, I began to think that maybe my boss is not completely wrong. I've been resisting his advice. I've been resisting pretty much everything because he's not the kind of boss my previous boss was whom I adored and learned so much from. Then again, I'm not the kind of analyst the other analyst is. My resistance coupled with his passive-ness (is that a word?) is not doing anyone any good. I could very easily say that he's the boss so he should be the one to change but it's going to have to be me. I need to accept that he is the way he is and find a way to work around it. Am I giving in? Am I selling out? My way has certainly not worked for the past 6 months. My previous boss would not be very proud of me right now. My career is about to take off and this is certainly not the end of the line for me. Instead of digging my heels in maybe I need to pick up the pace and start running a little faster.
Maybe?
I've always said that my work is my life. I truly enjoy what I do so going to the office is not a chore. However, these past few months my work has turned into a job and just that. Nothing more. I've had to put up boundaries and force myself to take time off, hence this week long break, and it doesn't feel right. I'm hoping by the end of the week it will. It has started off quite nicely at least.
I had a brilliant day today. Woke up without an alarm clock at 11:30. Headed over to my favorite coffee shop and enjoyed a cappuccino while people watching. I LOVE people watching. Returned emails, made plans for New Year's Eve, and met up with a friend. I went to the gym, prepared a healthy meal and watched Two Weeks Notice while getting ready for bed. Now I'm here blogging while in bed. It has been an ideal day and how I hope to eventually spend every day - being financially stable of course. By the end of the break I will be fully rested and relaxed and have adopted a healthy attitude towards work. This is my goal.
This sounds seriously cheesie but as I was brushing my teeth infront of the bathroom mirror and listening to Two Weeks Notice playing in the background, I began to think that maybe my boss is not completely wrong. I've been resisting his advice. I've been resisting pretty much everything because he's not the kind of boss my previous boss was whom I adored and learned so much from. Then again, I'm not the kind of analyst the other analyst is. My resistance coupled with his passive-ness (is that a word?) is not doing anyone any good. I could very easily say that he's the boss so he should be the one to change but it's going to have to be me. I need to accept that he is the way he is and find a way to work around it. Am I giving in? Am I selling out? My way has certainly not worked for the past 6 months. My previous boss would not be very proud of me right now. My career is about to take off and this is certainly not the end of the line for me. Instead of digging my heels in maybe I need to pick up the pace and start running a little faster.
Maybe?
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
I remember when we stopped saying Merry Christmas and everyone started making a concerted effort to say Happy Holidays. This year I've just gone back to saying Merry Christmas because really Happy Holidays just doesn't have the same spirited sound as Merry Christmas.
So a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours!
So a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Moodswings
Those near and dear know all too well my epic moodswings. And the stubborness. It's my charm I've always said. :-)
Lately, I've been feeling like Carrie Bradshaw in the episode where she gets upset with her friend who is not backing the idea of her leaving for Paris with The Russian. I never religiously watched the show but this one scene is very clear in my mind. Clearly it struck a cord even so many years ago when I first saw it. They've just left a funeral and are standing outside. Miranda is with her lecturing as usual. And then Carrie loses it. And they fight.
I don't know what triggered it and I've been thinking about it for the past few days. Still not sure...
Analyze away...
Lately, I've been feeling like Carrie Bradshaw in the episode where she gets upset with her friend who is not backing the idea of her leaving for Paris with The Russian. I never religiously watched the show but this one scene is very clear in my mind. Clearly it struck a cord even so many years ago when I first saw it. They've just left a funeral and are standing outside. Miranda is with her lecturing as usual. And then Carrie loses it. And they fight.
I don't know what triggered it and I've been thinking about it for the past few days. Still not sure...
Analyze away...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
crash and burn
Let's set the mood...
It's 4:30 am on the east coast. Handsome Boy Modeling Agency's remix of Jack Johnsons's Breakdown is playing on the computer (great song. do check it out sometime.). Half a pizza pie in the box on the ground.
The appropriate term for what happened yesterday is crash and burn. On so many levels it's not even funny. Actually it is.
The day went by smoothly. Checked out the holiday show in town which was totally cute. Went to a happy hour after work which was tons of fun. A high school buddy showed up. I'm playing matchmaker so I was really glad he swung by. I have someone in mind for him. So up until now, things are fine. At some point between signing the bill and getting home, things got messy.
I got into a semi argument with the crush.
I learnt that I got defriended on Facebook. De. Friend. Ed. Who does that? Who's got the time? Who cares?
I am out like a light by 10:30 pm. Wake up at 3 am and can't get back to bed.
Now I'm here.
So in retrospect maybe not all that much went on last night. Just a few things. But they were fairly significant. I can't be left to my own devices. I need someone with me at all times to take the pinkberry away from me before I start abusing the poor thing.
Well tomorrow (today) is another day, yes? Yes. ;-)
It's 4:30 am on the east coast. Handsome Boy Modeling Agency's remix of Jack Johnsons's Breakdown is playing on the computer (great song. do check it out sometime.). Half a pizza pie in the box on the ground.
The appropriate term for what happened yesterday is crash and burn. On so many levels it's not even funny. Actually it is.
The day went by smoothly. Checked out the holiday show in town which was totally cute. Went to a happy hour after work which was tons of fun. A high school buddy showed up. I'm playing matchmaker so I was really glad he swung by. I have someone in mind for him. So up until now, things are fine. At some point between signing the bill and getting home, things got messy.
I got into a semi argument with the crush.
I learnt that I got defriended on Facebook. De. Friend. Ed. Who does that? Who's got the time? Who cares?
I am out like a light by 10:30 pm. Wake up at 3 am and can't get back to bed.
Now I'm here.
So in retrospect maybe not all that much went on last night. Just a few things. But they were fairly significant. I can't be left to my own devices. I need someone with me at all times to take the pinkberry away from me before I start abusing the poor thing.
Well tomorrow (today) is another day, yes? Yes. ;-)
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